Muddy Spring

It's my baby brother's birthday today.  Although he's not around to tell in person, I hope he knows that I'm glad he was born.  I'm glad he's my brother.  I have a box with a few things to help me remember a little bit of who he was while he was here.  I'm very grateful to the friend who gave it to me at that time of sudden loss.  I don't look at them often, but today I did.  Among them is this tiny post-it note (bright yellow with red ink still attached to the back sheet of a pad) that says, "The soul would have no rainbows if the eyes had no tears."   That gives me peace, stillness.  I am glad.  I'm grateful for the good parts of life:  His triumphs, his kindness and goodness.  I'm also in a less willing way grateful for the hard parts of his life, his failures, his meanness and baseness.  It is hard for me even at this distance to put the puzzle of it all together, but I know this:  I love him. I'm glad he was born.  Happy Birthday Little Brother (who really was quite big as I think about it).